Haaland meditates before scoring screamers

Erling Haaland isn’t human—he’s a Viking cyborg built by meditation, mouth taping, and chopping wood! ????

Inside his INSANE pre-match rituals:
✔️ Pre-Game Meditation – Zen focus before scoring screamers ????♂️⚽
✔️ 9-Hour Sleep Rule – No Wi-Fi, blue-light glasses, total brain reset ????
✔️ Mouth Taping – Pre-season “Viking mode” to boost oxygen + stamina ????
✔️ Chopping Wood Hikes – Yes, he trains like a literal Norse warrior ????

⚡ The Results?
• 16 goals in 10 games – Best August EVER for a striker
• Defenders’ Nightmare – “You can’t rattle him… he’s too calm!” – Van Dijk
• Science Backed – How mouth taping actually improves performance

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