Clues that a child might be lonely or stressed: Dr Devika Bhushan on NBC

I very much appreciated the chance to chat with Kate Snow on NBC News about new survey data from Girl Scouts of the USA showing that nearly 70% of girls 5-13 feel lonely and have low self-esteem — worsening as they get older — with very real health impacts.

Younger kids may not be able to *directly* verbalize a new concern or stressor, and changes in health or behavior can serve as clues to dig deeper.
- Is a chronic health condition like asthma or eczema flaring?
- Do you notice changes in a child’s sleep, mood, appetite, and behavior?

Connection is the antidote to loneliness — first with oneself — needed to meaningfully connect with others. This is especially hard today, where young people are often developing from the outside in — cultivating that outer image, especially on social media, instead of tapping into who they really are inside.

5 things a caregiver can do to bolster their kids’ sense of self-worth:

???? Cultivate kids’ inner values, interests, and connections. Compliment a young person’s core attributes, rather than their looks. Take their lead on joint activities that they choose: Spend time together in nature, cultivate a hobby like art or dance, and connect with others who share their interests.

???? Create a family culture of anti-perfectionism. Embrace failure and mistakes — as necessary for growth.

???? Let kids struggle! Give them space to figure things out for themselves, especially when trying something new. This builds self-efficacy, and gives them the message that you think they CAN do hard things — and succeed. Watch them rise to that expectation.

???? Invest in tech-free zones for connection, such as a daily walk or family dinner. Keep cell phones out of reach for key connection and deep work/study time. Norwegian middle schools that banned cell phones had nearly 60% lower need for specialty care, including for mental health, and higher grades in girls, and 40-50% less bullying for both boys and girls.

???? Have an open door policy: Encourage kids to talk to you about anything that concerns them — online or offline. Emphasize that nothing is off limits, and you will love them no matter what.